My life of late has been pretty confusing. I'm 23 years old and have no idea what I want to do with my life, and I feel like I'm kind of running out of time to make a decision. There have been some things going on relationally in my life and I don't really know why they've happened. And as you all know, my cousin is not doing well, and I've spent a lot of time questioning God- not His goodness, sovereignty, or His love, but simply His plan. It's hard to see sometimes why God has chosen the plans He has for our lives. I trust that they are good, and I know that His ways are higher than my ways, His thoughts higher than my thoughts (Isaiah 55), but I am not always sure what He's doing. I know that we're not really supposed to be sure all the time, and a huge part of trusting God is not knowing or understanding what He's doing, but believing in His faithfulness. Heck, if we always knew exactly why He was doing something, or if we were consistently tickled pink with His plans, what would be so noble about trusting Him? It would be no great feat, and we would not actually have to relinquish too much control.
He's promised us several things about what He's doing in our lives:
Phil 1:6 "... He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Christ Jesus."
Jeremiah 29:11 "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord. 'Plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.'"
Psalm 62:5 "Trust in Him at all times, O people, pour out your hearts to Him. God is a refuge for us."
and my new fave,
Heb 12:10-11 "..but He disciplines us for our good, that we might share His holiness. For at the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to all who are trained by it."
Psalm 37:4-5 "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act."
Normally, my blog posts start with me sharing a question I have and then getting super excited and explaining how I found the answer in Scripture. That isn't the case today. These verses are encouraging and further support my understanding that He is good and soveriegn, but I still don't understand His plan and perhaps I never will. The thing that is encouraging to me here is that He never promises that we're going to understand His plan. He's the One who's in charge, not us. Is my faith in His perfect goodness and all consuming power enough to counteract my lack of concrete knowledge of His plan?
My answer is "yes," and at times it's quite a difficult "yes" to say. BUT I do believe that "yes" is all He wants from us.